"Err.."
"You're definitely gonna work in the field of Public Relations," Wana said in excitement,
"Yeah I hope so"
"What is it Dil?"
"Nothing Wan, I'm just, tired of everything." I stared at the dark alleys that Wana and I walked "I need a break."
There was a long pause. Then I realized that I need to elaborate.
"You know, " I started, "I haven't have a break since the first day I entered the university."
Wana immediately knew what I was talking about.
"Well," She struggled on how she should arrange the words, "You said you were testing your limits, see what you can do, what you're capable of?"
Her words hit me back to reality.
The reality. The reality constantly haunts me of my responsibilities, the things that I have agreed to do, the promises that I make to make things better. I am procrastinating, I am avoiding my duties, I am avoiding human beings.
I didn't signed up for all this. They choose me and I promised to not letting them down. I don't like letting people down. I always do as I was told, I'm a professional, a workaholic, I love being busy.
Oh wait, I'm just too dumb to say "no".
Anyway,
I guess I finally hit my limits.
I just want days at home where I can do nothing. I wanna get bored. I wanna finish a whole season of a TV show in a day. I wanna snuggle in bed and just enjoy my soft sheets. I wanna enjoy evening meatballs. I wanna order pizzas and eat it all by myself. I wanna read books. I wanna write a book. I wanna play with cats who visited my house for food. I want more time at home.
I just can't do things. My brain seems to need more time to process simple information. I am physically and mentally tired. Exhausted. Oh and all my busy schedules also requires me to spend more. I am broke
I'm sleepy and I need more sleep.
I'm going to bed now, it's almost midnight. Gotta wake up at 4am and go to uni at 5 for a seminar.
Good night then.
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